coming back with a bang...

One of the things I've been itching to do since being laid up after surgery is to get another tattoo. I wanted something that symbolizes and represents all that I went through. The highs, the lows, the strength and patience I needed to get through tough days. Tough days when I was popping vicodin every 2 hours so that I could stand up straight. Tough days when I was getting in trouble at work for forgetting things (maaaaybe all those pain meds didn't help in that department). Tough days when I burst out crying for no reason except that I was tired of living like this. Yeah, I know this whole ordeal only totaled 6 months of my entire life but it was a difficult 6 months for me.

This summer I spent many hours watching NY Ink....oh, Ami please open a shop in Maine, k thanks. Every time I watched it my idea for my tattoo got bigger and a little crazier. Of course twitter didn't help "just go for it Sarah", "go big!". I designed and redesigned for several weeks. I had pretty much figured out what I wanted to get.

A few days after the MDI Marathon relay a new idea popped into my head. MDI was a killer race for me. It's where I grew up. It's a  tough course that going into I just hoped I could finish. It's a race I felt so strong, so happy and so blessed. It wasn't easy but I did it. I've never really been emotional during races but the last mile of that race is one I will always remember. My relay buddy Ally met me 1 mile out from the finish and I remember saying "I'm on my way to a killer PR, just get me there!". I came into the finish and heard the announcer say something about a strong women (Or in my mind thats what I heard. Really, I have no clue what exactly she said). At that point I threw my hands up over my head and had a huge smile plastered over my face. As soon as I crossed the finish line I pumped my fists my friend and one of the race directors came up and gave me the biggest hug ever. We twirled around for a while and she told me how proud she was of me. Then I saw Jamie who finished the race hours before (still not quite sure why he was still hanging around) and I gave him a huge hug and yelled "Jamie! 6 minute PR!". He later told me he saw me coming into the finish and saw the look on my face that he had no choice but to be equally as excited for me.

Annnnnnyway, you get the idea. MDI was huge for me. I was supposed to be running my first full that day. I probably shouldn't have been out there running as hard as I was but I busted my butt to get back in shape and I was not going to miss it.  The course is absolutely beautiful....

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

I swear...these are all views along the course taken the day after the race. It's hard to pick a favorite spot on the course but one of them would have to be the couple mile stretch along Sargent Drive. No cars and you literally run along side the water. Sargent Drive is also home to THE tree.

My original idea for my tattoo involved a Celtic Tree of Life. Symbolizing a new life and strength. A few days after the race though I decided to scratch that idea and use this tree. A tree thats a long a course that means so much to me. After countless drafts and various ideas of how to make it work we came up with this...

Live Life Full Throttle is a motto I really like, but also means a lot to me. I added the crow because A. I like it and B. Crow Athletics is the host running club of the MDI Marathon (among a ton of other kick butt races) and anyone that gets a crow tattoo becomes a lifetime member...so naturally I had to do it. I'm a lifer! Caw! Caw!

So in the spirit of living life full throttle I'm thinking about my 2012 plans. It's going to be awesome. I just don't want to plan/announce too much too soon.... last time I did that I was out of commission for 6 months. No more of that! I'm taking it day by day but be prepared for some exciting things!

What's 2012 looking like for you? Anything you think I should add to my list?

I'm baaaaaack!

Yeah, I know....it's been a while....a long while. HEY! It's my blog, I'm allowed a break. I needed a break. I needed to step away from social media and spend time with my amazing family. We've been super busy this fall...

We've been to baseball games...

camping... 

apple picking...

to the fair...

to the top of cadillac mountain... 

and trick or treating!

I've had an amazing fall, setting PR's like it's my job and falling in love with running....speed work....hard work and sweat. I'm refreshed and ready to come back. This fall I ran a half marathon and PRd by 3 minutes, in the pouring rain, heavy winds and a nutrition bonk at mile 10. Then 2 weeks later I ran a 2 person marathon relay on a difficult course and PRd my half again, this time by 6 minutes. I also ran a couple 5ks this fall. The first one was on a Sunday and I PRd by 10ish seconds?? Then I ran one the following Thursday and set another PR, this time by 50 seconds! I tried to write race reports but I couldn't. I wanted to share with you how excited I tell you about the highs and lows of every mile. It just wasn't coming to me, believe me I tried. I have several drafts but nothing was working. I couldn't accurately express how blessed I was to be able to run, to run well, and to love every minute of it . Instead of trying to write them now, I'll just share a few photos. I think they say it all...

ally just completed her 13.1 mile leg and im about to take off on mine

the top of some hill (hence the "i wanna die right now" face)  

the finish line after a kick ass 13.1 mile leg and a 6 minute PR on a tough course

ally my relay buddy,  danielle who just became a maniac and me!

So don't fear. I'm still here and I'm defiantly still running. I just needed a bit of a break.  I'm ready to kick some butt in 2012!

who is this girl!?

who is this girl...

...that has been getting up at 4:30am to get her run in before work?
...that is excited to run again and wants to add 5.6 extra miles into her schedule this week?
...that looks at a massive hill ahead and says "sweet, this will make me stronger"
...that has a craptastic run and gets back out the next day to try again instead of taking a rest day?
...that doesn't make excuses to not run (the rain, the early morning, too tired)?
...that is knocking off massive amounts of time to her average mile pace each time she goes out for a run?
...that is doing regular core work!?
...that is bummed that tomorrow is a rest day?

yeah... i have no clue because it's certainly not the girl that was running in march i can tell ya that much! whoever it is though, i like it!

since getting back to running things have been going so well. i have absolutely zero expectations for myself . right now it's all about building my mileage up safely so that i can be ready for the mdi marathon relay that i'll be running with ally in october. last week i started getting up before work and getting my runs out of the way. as much as i love my sleep, i am reallllly loving these pre dawn runs. it's cooler outside, no traffic and it feels amazing to be done with my run by 6:00am. so good in fact that when i get home in the afternoons i contemplate running again but i usually always opt for a nap instead!

sam has helped me with a schedule to build my mileage up safely but also in time to run 13.1 in mid october. today i asked him if i could run an extra 5.6 miles this week...he squashed that idea and said i could only add in an extra 2. fine, fine, fine...

when i was out with my injury i gained a lot of motivation to hit my training hard when i came back. i promise you all that i am taking it slow and in no way am i pushing myself. im just running what feels good and the faster pace has just been happening. i guess im just more motivated to get out there and put in some good miles and have solid runs. if im going to run the relay in october i want to be as prepared as i can be. i dont want to be running the hills of somesville and say "damn i wish i had put a little more effort into my runs".

so tomorrow is a rest day, thursday will be a 5 miler, friday a rest day and saturday will be my first big test of 7 miles. thinking about calling my neighbor to see if he will run it with me (hey mark! are you reading this from your vacation? wanna join me?... i did clean up cat poop in your house today ;) )

and the verdict is...

just when i thought i had shed all the tears physically possible regarding my injury, my lack of running and my pain....i shed a few more yesterday. ok, i lied, a lot more. some of you know, many do not, but i had a meeting with a neurosurgeon yesterday to discuss my options for my herniated disc. whenever i mentioned back surgery to anyone, they freaked.

back surgery is risky

i've heard so many horror stories

you're too young for that

my friend had that, it didn't help

yeah, i heard it all. if you had asked me 4 months ago if i would consider back surgery, my answer would have been hell no!. but this is wearing on me. mentally and physically. big time. i can't begin to explain to you the kind of pain i am in so that you would understand. im not asking you to understand. what i want you to know is that i have tried everything. ok, maybe not everything but i've tried a lot of other alternative types of therapies. this is not a decision i made quickly. unfortunately, due to my insurance, i have paid for many of these alternative therapies out of pocket. well, my pockets are just about empty now. i literally cant afford to keep trying things and have them not work for me. so im having surgery. you may or may not agree with my choice but i had to do what was best for me and my family.

june 8. 3 weeks from today. it should last about an hour and ill spend a night in the hospital, being taken care of by the very people i work with. yea, that awesome insurance i have also requires me to get my care at the hospital i work at. sweet. it's a 6 week recovery and i should be able to run 8 weeks after surgery.

this throws my whole fall racing plan out the window and ill start from scratch. i won't be running my first marathon (insert tears) but i will make the best of it. im still going to be at MDI because i can't miss the epic weekend with an amazing group of people. shabby ally is going to run the relay with me and we are going to have fun! im still going to raise money for train 4 autism and springy pond farms. (click here to donate *wink wink*)

you hear that running Gods!? im going to have fun and im going to run again!!!

im also planning on getting some revenge at the chilly half marathon in newton which was my first half. i wasnt sure if i would be able to run this after running MDI but since im not running the full, i will absolutely be there. everything else is up in the air.

getting better is my first priority and ill put all my energy into a healthy recovery. red and i have been tossing emails back and forth about our injuries and how they have sidelined us from what we had hoped would be an epic 2011 racing season. we have decided that 2012 will be ours and in the meantime we will motivate each other to stay positive and focus on what is important.

God, grant me the serenity to accept when i cannot run

the courage to run when i can

and the wisdom to know the difference

Photos from MDI

I mentioned in my race recap of MDI that I wish I had my camera while I was running! The views along the course were stunning and I really wanted to share them with you. I came across Dana's blog (she's running 52 marathons in 52 weeks. Check her out!) and her recap from MDI. Dana was the smart one who did bring her camera and stopped to take lots of pictures along the way...or continued running and took lots of pictures, I'm not sure which. Either way, she was able to capture many awesome sights along the course. With her permission I am sharing them with you here! Enjoy! They are in no specific order

The rest of the photos were taken by Kate's mom! We were having so much fun...can't you tell!?

MDI Marathon Relay

Sometime over the summer, while super pregnant and not running, I thought it would be a good idea to sign up for the MDI Marathon Relay. I called my friend Kate and asked if she wanted to do the 2 person relay with me meaning we would each run 13.1 miles. After a few weeks of thinking about it, I decided I may not be ready for 13.1 miles 12 weeks after delivering my baby boy. I called her in a panic wondering if she could find another runner and do the 3 person relay. She recruited her cousin Jen and we registered!

Attending MDI High School and growing up in the area, I knew it was a difficult and hilly course. In the weeks leading up to the race I started to freak out a little. Was I really up for this? Was I trying to do too much too soon?? At this point it was really too late and I just needed to do it.

I spent the first 2 days fielding questions about Train 4 Autism at the expo.

At the expo I got to meet some DM people Jamie, Jill, Jim and his wife Patti. That was pretty sweet. I went home Saturday night and had to switch gears from train 4 autism to race mode. Of course my 3 month old is just starting to teeth and he was not having a good night. I was pretty concerned about getting enough sleep that night. I was finally able to get Tyler to bed and I laid in bed staring at the ceiling. It was one of those things where I was so tired but could not sleep. Awesome. While laying there though, I remembered I hadn’t done my football picks yet and certainly wouldn’t have time in the morning to do them so I got up to make my picks (not like it really matters because I missed a week and so I’m not going to win…booo). I got back into bed and visualized myself powering up the hills I was going to be running the following day.

Race Day. My alarm went off at 5:00am. I was surprisingly wide awake and ready for the day. I got myself ready, exchanged a few tweets with Jaime, got Tyler ready and hurried my slow family out the door. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s rushing to the start line. I like to have plenty of time to get there.

Heading onto the island race morning.

Team Project Zach. Kate Jen and I before the start. Brrrrr

My brother Zach and I

I ran into Jim and Patti and then we found Jill. Patti was able to snap this gem of a photo before we all lined up.

I stood next to Jill who flew in from Montana for this race. I asked her why she picked MDI and she said that since it was the runner up for the best overall marathon, she had to check it out! She also said she wants to come back and run Beach 2 Beacon and I told her this was a very good idea (Jill—registering for B2B is like registering for Boston 2011. You must be at the computer the minute it opens!!!). The star spangled banner was played (Danielle, I still thought of you!) and then ACDC’s Thunderstruck was played over the loud speaker. Everyone was getting pumped and jumping up and down (I was doing it just to stay warm. Did I mention it was cold?!). With that, the gun went off and so were we!

My teammate Kate who is running NYC in 3 weeks wanted to get a long run in so she ran my leg with me before running hers. I have never been one that enjoys running with other people. I like to be able to just focus on my run and not worry about holding my running partner up. Even though Kate is a faster runner then I am she hung with me and never left…well except when she had to pee. I’m pretty sure that without Kate with me that day I would not have done as well as I did. MDI is known to be a tough course. It’s got some killer hills and I knew that it wasn’t going to be long before they came. I don’t actually remember where the hills started but I felt as if I was running up hill for a long time. The one I was most proud of for conquering was the long hill that took up much of mile 2. Yea, that was not so much fun. It was while I was running up this hill that I was super pumped that I was only running 8.5 miles and not the whole thing. I think it was also at this time that I swore I would never run the MDI full. I was feeling great and during miles 4&5 and I even sang to Kate. Yea, you read that right. Glee came on to my ipod (I know Danielle and Jeri will love this) and I couldn’t help but sing. Outloud. Kate loved it…I’m not so sure the other runners around me did. Oops:-)

Somewhere around mile 6 I was feeling like I wanted to stop and walk but then I saw our cheering squad (My mom, dad, brother and son along with Kate’s mom, aunt and cousin Jen) at the top of the hill and I knew I couldn’t stop. Kate stopped in to use the bathroom at her friend’s house (advantages of being a local) and I kept going. When Kate caught back up to me I remember telling her how good I was feeling. I seriously couldn’t believe my legs. 4 weeks prior I had “run” a 10k on a very flat course and I struggled with it…a lot! Here we were at the 10k mark of the MDI Marathon and I felt awesome. Go figure. The next 2 miles I we didn’t talk much (might have had something to do with the fact I sang for 2 miles earlier…I was getting tired) but I just took in the scenery. Even though I grew up here, the views were just breathtaking. I really wish I had my camera. There was one point on Cooksey Drive where we came around a corner and looked over a cliff and out to the ocean. It was just amazing. I am a little disappointed though that Martha Stewart was not at the bottom of her driveway with cupcakes cheering for us when we ran by. Fail Martha Fail!

There were a lot of killer up hills but there were some awesome your quads will hate you for life down hills too. I had the pleasure of ending my leg with a nasty downhill. We came into Seal Cover beach at the 8.5 mile mark. This is where my leg ended and Kate’s began. She had the next 10.1 miles.

We jumped in the car and drove to Northeast Harbor where we watched Kate run by. Damn she looked good for being on her 12th mile. We had a pit stop at Kate’s parents house before heading to the exchange for the 3rd leg. It was here I got to see Jill and Jim run by! I also saw my friend from high school Emma fly through here. Kate came in and picked up Jen and the 2 of them continued on.

We ended up picking Kate up 2 miles later. I saw Jim and Emma run by again and I gave them my best cheer! The last 5 miles or so of this course is pretty much up hill. No joke. Why do you think I picked the first leg?? I’m no dummy. I knew that runners were going to need as much support on this stretch as they could get. I remember one guy who was walking down the last major hill of the course. He looked like he was in a lot of pain. We started cheering for him as loud as we could and gave him some words of encouragement (like there are no more hills, it's flat from here on out, 1.2 miles to the end!) He started running again and looked at us, waved and yelled "Thank you". :-). Our last stop was at mile 25 which also happened to be right where Jen lived. We parked in her driveway and waited for her and then ran the last 1.2 miles as a team. Emma drove by and gave us a nice little honk as we entered the home stretch.

Patti and Jim were waiting for us at the finish line and she got this sweet picture of us!

I had such a blast during this race. I felt great running, I enjoyed cheering on runners when they didn't think they could go any farther and it was nice to do it all in my old stomping grounds. I know that somewhere around mile 2-3 I said I would never run MDI as a full. Ok I lied. Or I already forgot about the hills. Either way, this week I signed up for the MDI Marathon 2011. I am beyond excited. It's going to take some serious training, but heck, I've got a full year to do it. I've enlisted Jamie to help me with a training plan (did I mention he BQ and I'm going to get to watch him run in Boston along with Jill!) and I'm so pumped to make MDI my first. I grew up here and it will be pretty special for me. I already know several people who are going to be running it as well. It's going to be an epic weekend!

MDI Marathon preview

I'll be the first to tell you I was probably a little overzealous in signing up for the MDI Marathon relay 12 weeks after I had my baby. (you can now say "I told you so"). Maybe if I had been working out all through my pregnancy it wouldn't be such a problem. But no, I quit exercising about 3 or 4 months in. Sigh. So as soon as I was physically able after I had my baby I started running again. I put together an 8 week training plan to get me ready for MDI. Things were going well with the training until I went back to work 3 weeks ago. At that point my training got put on the back burner while I tried to figure out my new daily routine.

So here I am, 1 week away from the relay. 26.2 miles split up into 3 legs. I have chosen the first leg which is 8.5 miles. Kate, who is training for the NYC Marathon is running the first leg with me and then will continue on to run the second leg which is 10.1 miles and then hand off to her cousin Jen who will finish out with a 7.6 mile leg. Kate and I will join her somewhere around mile 25 and finish with her. This sounds all well and good until you take a look at the course. Yeah. It's all hills.

It goes from one side of Mount Desert Island and winds it's way around to the other side. There isn't much of a flat spot on the course.

Looks like fun, huh!? However, the views almost make up for the stupid hills. I drove the course yesterday, even though I grew up in the area. It is so pretty this time of year. The leaves are changing, and the lakes and mountains are stunning. Even though these views are nothing new to me, I hope they distract me from how much fun I will not be having. After all Runners World didn't vote it North America's most scenic marathon for nothing. Check out this YouTube video. For your reading pleasure, mile by mile descriptions

I went out for a run this afternoon after watching the Iron Man Kona last night and the Chicago Marathon today. I had high hopes of a good run. Nope. I wouldn't be so worried if I was running this race on my own. Sure, it still wouldn't be a good race but I would only be letting down myself. Next weekend I have 2 other people counting on me to run well. I would feel bad about letting them down.

I'm just going to cross my fingers and pray next Sunday! Ugh. I'm going to be at the expo again with my Train 4 Autism booth. That will be fun!