coming back with a bang...

One of the things I've been itching to do since being laid up after surgery is to get another tattoo. I wanted something that symbolizes and represents all that I went through. The highs, the lows, the strength and patience I needed to get through tough days. Tough days when I was popping vicodin every 2 hours so that I could stand up straight. Tough days when I was getting in trouble at work for forgetting things (maaaaybe all those pain meds didn't help in that department). Tough days when I burst out crying for no reason except that I was tired of living like this. Yeah, I know this whole ordeal only totaled 6 months of my entire life but it was a difficult 6 months for me.

This summer I spent many hours watching NY Ink....oh, Ami please open a shop in Maine, k thanks. Every time I watched it my idea for my tattoo got bigger and a little crazier. Of course twitter didn't help "just go for it Sarah", "go big!". I designed and redesigned for several weeks. I had pretty much figured out what I wanted to get.

A few days after the MDI Marathon relay a new idea popped into my head. MDI was a killer race for me. It's where I grew up. It's a  tough course that going into I just hoped I could finish. It's a race I felt so strong, so happy and so blessed. It wasn't easy but I did it. I've never really been emotional during races but the last mile of that race is one I will always remember. My relay buddy Ally met me 1 mile out from the finish and I remember saying "I'm on my way to a killer PR, just get me there!". I came into the finish and heard the announcer say something about a strong women (Or in my mind thats what I heard. Really, I have no clue what exactly she said). At that point I threw my hands up over my head and had a huge smile plastered over my face. As soon as I crossed the finish line I pumped my fists my friend and one of the race directors came up and gave me the biggest hug ever. We twirled around for a while and she told me how proud she was of me. Then I saw Jamie who finished the race hours before (still not quite sure why he was still hanging around) and I gave him a huge hug and yelled "Jamie! 6 minute PR!". He later told me he saw me coming into the finish and saw the look on my face that he had no choice but to be equally as excited for me.

Annnnnnyway, you get the idea. MDI was huge for me. I was supposed to be running my first full that day. I probably shouldn't have been out there running as hard as I was but I busted my butt to get back in shape and I was not going to miss it.  The course is absolutely beautiful....

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

I swear...these are all views along the course taken the day after the race. It's hard to pick a favorite spot on the course but one of them would have to be the couple mile stretch along Sargent Drive. No cars and you literally run along side the water. Sargent Drive is also home to THE tree.

My original idea for my tattoo involved a Celtic Tree of Life. Symbolizing a new life and strength. A few days after the race though I decided to scratch that idea and use this tree. A tree thats a long a course that means so much to me. After countless drafts and various ideas of how to make it work we came up with this...

Live Life Full Throttle is a motto I really like, but also means a lot to me. I added the crow because A. I like it and B. Crow Athletics is the host running club of the MDI Marathon (among a ton of other kick butt races) and anyone that gets a crow tattoo becomes a lifetime member...so naturally I had to do it. I'm a lifer! Caw! Caw!

So in the spirit of living life full throttle I'm thinking about my 2012 plans. It's going to be awesome. I just don't want to plan/announce too much too soon.... last time I did that I was out of commission for 6 months. No more of that! I'm taking it day by day but be prepared for some exciting things!

What's 2012 looking like for you? Anything you think I should add to my list?

I'm baaaaaack!

Yeah, I know....it's been a while....a long while. HEY! It's my blog, I'm allowed a break. I needed a break. I needed to step away from social media and spend time with my amazing family. We've been super busy this fall...

We've been to baseball games...

camping... 

apple picking...

to the fair...

to the top of cadillac mountain... 

and trick or treating!

I've had an amazing fall, setting PR's like it's my job and falling in love with running....speed work....hard work and sweat. I'm refreshed and ready to come back. This fall I ran a half marathon and PRd by 3 minutes, in the pouring rain, heavy winds and a nutrition bonk at mile 10. Then 2 weeks later I ran a 2 person marathon relay on a difficult course and PRd my half again, this time by 6 minutes. I also ran a couple 5ks this fall. The first one was on a Sunday and I PRd by 10ish seconds?? Then I ran one the following Thursday and set another PR, this time by 50 seconds! I tried to write race reports but I couldn't. I wanted to share with you how excited I tell you about the highs and lows of every mile. It just wasn't coming to me, believe me I tried. I have several drafts but nothing was working. I couldn't accurately express how blessed I was to be able to run, to run well, and to love every minute of it . Instead of trying to write them now, I'll just share a few photos. I think they say it all...

ally just completed her 13.1 mile leg and im about to take off on mine

the top of some hill (hence the "i wanna die right now" face)  

the finish line after a kick ass 13.1 mile leg and a 6 minute PR on a tough course

ally my relay buddy,  danielle who just became a maniac and me!

So don't fear. I'm still here and I'm defiantly still running. I just needed a bit of a break.  I'm ready to kick some butt in 2012!

things are looking up!

oh hi! it's me...the one who hasn't blessed this blog with her im so depressed posts love in a good month or so. breaking news folks: IM BACK!!! last time i updated you was a week post surgery, im now 4 1/2 weeks out. to be honest, it hasn't been all rainbows and unicorns...which is kinda why you haven't heard from me. i was sick of having nothing good today say, or pretending i had good things to say. i don't wanna get too excited but i think i am finally making some progress. there was some concern that i had reherniated my disc and had a follow up CT scan which showed "post op abnormalities". oy, thats a phrase i dislike. so they had to order an mri to confirm or deny a reherniation. i got the results of that today and to quote my doc "your mri looks fine, no disc issues at all".

for real!? im good to go!?


he says the pain im feeling in my leg could be some nerve damage or some scar tissue. to be honest, the pain isn't that bad compared to what i was feeling before my surgery. hell, i havent taken any pain meds since 3 days post op. that says something, especially when i was taking 8 vicodin a day just to get through the day before surgery. what i feel is a pinch right behind my right knee and its worse when im not active. doc said that getting in the pool is A OK and thinks that will be the best thing for me right now.


to say the last 4+ weeks has been an emotional roller coaster is an understatement. i can remember 2 days specifically that i just wanted to jump off the ledge. i was mentally done. the first day i sent my dear friend an email asking him all my "what if" questions. he wrote back, answered every last one of my "what if" questions and talked me off the ledge. then, i got two care packages that day from two amazing friends.

then a few weeks later when my leg was really getting wonky and worse this gem of a package showed up at my parents doorstep from my royal sister...

another thing that has kept me from freaking out is going through all this with someone. i remember getting back to my room from surgery and seeing a tweet from eric. he was going to have the same surgery as i just had a week later. we've been chatting since and it's been so nice to have someone to talk to about different pains or things that are going on in our recovery. i have had amazing support from all my friends and family but it's nice to talk to someone who understands and knows the exact things im talking about.

sooooo that's the injury update. just because my leg has been all wonky doesn't mean it has slowed me down any....

ive been watching hours of whale wars with zachie at night...

reading lots of trash magazines...

taking boat rides to islands off the coast of maine...

watching joanie kick butt at the ll bean 4th of july 10k...

enjoying parades with my little man...

eating lots of strawberry shortcake...

taking t on lots of walks...up lots of hills...

and of course watching lots of world cup soccer!!

i've also been swooning over all things tattoo and hope solo related...but that's all for a different day! :-)

ive got another week and a half or so of recovery left before i am cleared to go back to work. im finally feeling good. ive got some spunk back and im not letting it get away from me again!

a little help from my patients...

i dont talk about my work on here and i try to keep that private. but today i wanted to share something with you. each day i run a group for my patients at work. today's topic was gratitude. something i think that we could all take a lesson in from time to time. for me, my lesson came today. i won't go into details but we had a good discussion and one of my patients said something that really hit home to me and brought me back to reality. i like to wrap up my groups by reading a reflection or a poem of some kind. today we read one of my favorite poems that i have on file and i wanted to share it with you.

be thankful

-anonymous

be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire,

if you did, what would there to be to look forward to?

be thankful when you don't know something,

for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

be thankful for the difficult time.

during those times you grow.

be thankful for your limitations

becuase they give you opportunities for improvement.

be thankful for each new challenge

becuase it will build your strength and character.

be thankful for your mistakes

they will teach you valuable lessons.

be thankful when you're tired and weary

because it means you've made a difference.

it is easy to be thankful for the good things.

a life of rich fulfillment come to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.

find a way to be thankful for your troubles

and they can become your blessings.



no matter how healthy or unhealthy we are. how rich or poor. how educated or uneducated we are....we all have setbacks from time to time. it's how we deal with them that seperates us from each other.

there are a lot of things in life i am grateful for. my friends, family, and my health are among the most important things for me. right now i can't run, but i sure am grateful that i can walk. i may not be able to play with T like i want, but i can still still his beautiful smile and hear his contagious laugh. im grateful that i have bloggy friends who are out there and follow my ups and downs, that care enough to text me, email me or send me a message on twitter when they notice i haven't been around or having a bad day. you don't know it, but i really appreciate it. thank you.

what are you grateful for?