Monday, July 25, 2011


One year ago today this happened.

and it feels like over night he turned into this...

Dear Ty,

You are the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. You have brought so much joy and laugher into my life. The days when I was at my worst you just looked at me, smiled and started laughing...I can't help but smile from ear to ear every time I hear that. You love life more then anyone I know and I can't wait to see you grow. One year ago today at 8:00pm you entered this world full of life. Tonight, at 8:00pm I quietly walked into your room where you were peacefully sleeping after a fun day at daycare celebrating with your friends and then a yummy dinner at Friendly's with your dad and I. I told you how much I love you and gave you a kiss. I wondered what you were dreaming about, and I hope all your dreams come true. From the day you were born everyone has called you smiley. You are so happy all the time and I couldn't be more blessed. I love you Ty.


Friday, July 15, 2011

patience? i haz none

....true story. i might be the most inpatient person ever. not like, oh hey it's taken you 45 minutes to bring me my cheeseburger and fries you suck, inpatient. more like, i've been killing myself at the gym for a whole week, why am i not buff and have abs of steal by now, inpatient.

this whole injury thing has tested my patience a time or two. i hate sitting around and waiting for things to all these doctors appointments. i can't tell you how many times i was referred to an office and then told it would be 3-4 weeks before i could get in.

excuse me, i dont have 3-4 weeks. i have a marathon to start training for. i need to get fixed now!

clearly my urgency wasn't enough for them to fit me in any earlier. sigh. as it got later and later in the spring i slowly realized that my fall marathon was out the window (good news: i can write about it and not cry anymore! progress my friends!).

having 6 weeks off in the summer and being told to "wake up, take your meds, eat breakfast, go for a walk, take a nap, take your meds, eat lunch, go for a walk, take a nap, take your meds, eat dinner, go for a walk and then go to bed" sounds pretty sweet and im sure many people would be jealous of such a thing. i enjoyed it for a while but after a week, i was bored, restless and itching to get back to life.

anyone that knows me, knows that i don't slow down for much. i had a lot of time to think which i always have told my patients is not a good idea. too much thinking is never good. i had minor freak out moments where i felt like i would never get better and days when i felt so good i wanted to put my running shoes on and take off. i talked to two different running friends that i have a lot of respect for and they both told me i need to be patient.

but you knooooooow im not patient

you'll get back and you'll be fine. but you must be patient. if you're not, that's how you'll injure yourself. just know the more patient you are now, the better it will be later.

ok. fine. 

so here i sit. trying to be patient, a week left to go in my recovery and feeling pretty good. i take my daily 3ish mile walk once or twice a day and then rest. i spend way too much time on twitter (im sure the twitterverse will be happy when i return to work) and watching tv. i read trashy books and think about what it will be like to get back to life again. im so thankful i have the unlimited texting plan (is 8,000 a month too much?) and have designed my next tattoo. i've also refocused myself. i know what i want and im so excited to go get it. like jumping out of my skin excited!

i know that im going to need to carry all this patience over into my training. before i got injured, 26.2 was going to be a challenge. running doesn't come easy or naturally to me. it's something i have to put a lot of work into. now that i have to start from scratch, its going to be even more of a challenge. im going to need patience, trust, and strength to get through it...all things ive needed and had to get through the last 5 months. i know ive got 'em....just need to put them to use!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

things are looking up!

oh hi! it's me...the one who hasn't blessed this blog with her im so depressed posts love in a good month or so. breaking news folks: IM BACK!!! last time i updated you was a week post surgery, im now 4 1/2 weeks out. to be honest, it hasn't been all rainbows and unicorns...which is kinda why you haven't heard from me. i was sick of having nothing good today say, or pretending i had good things to say. i don't wanna get too excited but i think i am finally making some progress. there was some concern that i had reherniated my disc and had a follow up CT scan which showed "post op abnormalities". oy, thats a phrase i dislike. so they had to order an mri to confirm or deny a reherniation. i got the results of that today and to quote my doc "your mri looks fine, no disc issues at all".

for real!? im good to go!?

he says the pain im feeling in my leg could be some nerve damage or some scar tissue. to be honest, the pain isn't that bad compared to what i was feeling before my surgery. hell, i havent taken any pain meds since 3 days post op. that says something, especially when i was taking 8 vicodin a day just to get through the day before surgery. what i feel is a pinch right behind my right knee and its worse when im not active. doc said that getting in the pool is A OK and thinks that will be the best thing for me right now.

to say the last 4+ weeks has been an emotional roller coaster is an understatement. i can remember 2 days specifically that i just wanted to jump off the ledge. i was mentally done. the first day i sent my dear friend an email asking him all my "what if" questions. he wrote back, answered every last one of my "what if" questions and talked me off the ledge. then, i got two care packages that day from two amazing friends.

then a few weeks later when my leg was really getting wonky and worse this gem of a package showed up at my parents doorstep from my royal sister...

another thing that has kept me from freaking out is going through all this with someone. i remember getting back to my room from surgery and seeing a tweet from eric. he was going to have the same surgery as i just had a week later. we've been chatting since and it's been so nice to have someone to talk to about different pains or things that are going on in our recovery. i have had amazing support from all my friends and family but it's nice to talk to someone who understands and knows the exact things im talking about.

sooooo that's the injury update. just because my leg has been all wonky doesn't mean it has slowed me down any....

ive been watching hours of whale wars with zachie at night...

reading lots of trash magazines...

taking boat rides to islands off the coast of maine...

watching joanie kick butt at the ll bean 4th of july 10k...

enjoying parades with my little man...

eating lots of strawberry shortcake...

taking t on lots of walks...up lots of hills...

and of course watching lots of world cup soccer!!

i've also been swooning over all things tattoo and hope solo related...but that's all for a different day! :-)

ive got another week and a half or so of recovery left before i am cleared to go back to work. im finally feeling good. ive got some spunk back and im not letting it get away from me again!
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