Beach 2 Beacon

gksarahj5 sarah

8 1/2 weeks ago I was having back surgery. Right now I'm lined up at the starting line of Beach 2 Beacon 10k ready to start a new chapter.

I had gone back and forth for a while about whether or not I was going to run this race or not...and by run I mean, line up with the walkers and see if I could cover the distance before they shut down the bag pick up at the finish and made you get it later in the week at the town office.

If this was any other race I would have skipped it all together and been a spectator, yet again. This was not just any other race though. The Beach to Beacon is Maine's largest road race. 11 countries and 41 states were represented. The race is head up by Joan Benoit Samuelson and brings in a lot of elites....like, ya know, Deena Kastor! (Although she made it to town and to the finish, she didn't run the race due to the flu. booo). This year the race sold out in 10 minutes.

Up until the race I had only run 2.5 miles at the most at one time since coming back from injury. I had logged 10 miles total since coming back from injury. Clearly running the Beach to Beacon was a smart choice. Right? I talked to my neighbor the night before and he asked what my plan was. I really had no idea. Run the first 2, walk 1, run 1, walk 1/2 and run the last 1/2??? I dunno...that sounded like a good idea. Just before we hung up he says "Just go out and have fun. Be glad you can move again. Enjoy it Sarah". Although I knew these things, and I had no expectations. I took his words to heart and really set out to have fun!

My super speedy friend Maddy who is coming back from injury offered to run along with me. I warned her that it was going to be a slogfest and will include walk breaks. She was totally cool with that and really helped me along the way.

Danielle, Maddy and I at the start

I met up with everyone at the start and we all chit chatted for a bit before all the super speedy runners set off to find their place in the mass of runners. We said our goodbyes and Maddy and I hung out at the back of the pack. Since we were planning on having fun we both brought our phones to take pictures, tweet and text while we were running!

Photo by Kevin Morris

The National Anthem was sung and we were off....well....kinda. It took us 5-6 minutes to actually cross the starting line. As we were walking up to it I was busy creating a new album on Facebook from my phone called "Beach 2 Beacon 2011". I joked with Maddy and said "as if I'm making a new album right now as we are about to cross the start!".

Mile 1

gksarahj5 sarah

Hey I'm passing people! #beachtobeacon10k

I guess this is what happens when you start at the back of the pack- you pass people. A concept I'm not quite used to :). I was feeling good, chattin it up with Maddy and taking pictures!

Mile 2.

gksarahj5 sarah

Born this way baby!!! @AndreaDuke15

I had one ear bud in so I could still listen to tunes and chat with Maddy. Lady Gaga's Born This Way came on and got me all pumped up! I thought of my Gaga loving friend Andrea and sent her a text to tell her how I was doing :)  


Fun Fact: you see a lot of interesting outfits/styles from the back of the back! It was somewhere around here that we saw a lady wearing sunglasses that took up half her face and cost more then my car! Another women was wearing a camelbak big enough to hold water for an all day hike. Not sure if she got the memo that there were water stops every 2ish miles. 

then we decided that this might be a fun place to stop since I was busy tweeting through the first water stop and didn't grab anything.

Mile 3

gksarahj5 sarah

Some lady just yells "hey she cell phoning" #whatwedo #beachtobeacon10k

Yes lady, I was also using my cell phone. Haha. Maddy and I got a kick out of that. Not much to say abut this mile. I was just surprised how good I felt despite just having back surgery 8 weeks prior. 

Mile 4

@gksarahj5 sarah
Feeling so ghgooooood!!!!b!!b! #beachtobeacon10k mile 4

Clearly I was crusing along and my typing went all to hell! :) This course is lined with spectators from the start all the way to the finish. Many of them playing music in their yards. I told Maddy it was Maine's version of a Rock n Roll race. Somewhere along mile 4 my current obsession OneRepublic's The Good Life was blasting and I decided it was a good idea to bust out some moves including a complete spin in the middle of the road. I really was living the Good Life at that moment (helps that mile 4 is downhill!:))

Mile 4 was fun.

I saw Danielle's mom...

 

ran along side a Lighthouse on wheels...

stopped to take a picture with the best sign ever...

 

also got to run under this awesome flag...

 

Mile 5.

Apparently I didn't tweet during mile 5...I was starting to struggle a bit here. Even though it sucked, we were still having fun. In fact, at no point during this race did I feel like death or wish that I hadn't run the race. I knew were close to entering the park which helped power me through. It was also along this mile that I thought of two friends that just had the same back surgery that I did and dug deep for them.

Maine Running Photos. Mile 5

Mile 6 

gksarahj5 sarah struggling through the last mile but im gonna do it! #beachtobeacon10k

This last mile sucks. alot. It has a series of 3 rolling hills that are not so much fun. I walked the hills and ran down them cause by this time I wasn't feeling so hot. As I got closer to the park I was excited to cross the finish line. While I was struggling a bit on the hills, my back felt great and I was so happy with that.

Mile 6.2

gksarahj5 sarah

I finished that bitch!!!! I feel great!!! #beachtobeacon10k #8weekspostbacksurgery

Maine Running Photos. Finish Line

Photo by Kevin Morris

Overall, I was so pleased with the race. I ran it super slow but I had so. much. fun. Not being stressed out about my time or pace was a good feeling. Like I mentioned, this course has so much crowd support it felt nice to be able to take it all in and enjoy it. I can't thank Maddy enough for slogging through it with me. I know I would have stopped to walk much earlier if it hadn't been for her. 

Maddy, Brendan, Danielle and I

Once at the finish we met up with tons of running friends, took pictures, talked about future races and watched the awards ceremony. 

Runner Army

patience? i haz none

....true story. i might be the most inpatient person ever. not like, oh hey it's taken you 45 minutes to bring me my cheeseburger and fries you suck, inpatient. more like, i've been killing myself at the gym for a whole week, why am i not buff and have abs of steal by now, inpatient.

this whole injury thing has tested my patience a time or two. i hate sitting around and waiting for things to happen..like all these doctors appointments. i can't tell you how many times i was referred to an office and then told it would be 3-4 weeks before i could get in.

excuse me, i dont have 3-4 weeks. i have a marathon to start training for. i need to get fixed now!


clearly my urgency wasn't enough for them to fit me in any earlier. sigh. as it got later and later in the spring i slowly realized that my fall marathon was out the window (good news: i can write about it and not cry anymore! progress my friends!).

having 6 weeks off in the summer and being told to "wake up, take your meds, eat breakfast, go for a walk, take a nap, take your meds, eat lunch, go for a walk, take a nap, take your meds, eat dinner, go for a walk and then go to bed" sounds pretty sweet and im sure many people would be jealous of such a thing. i enjoyed it for a while but after a week, i was bored, restless and itching to get back to life.

anyone that knows me, knows that i don't slow down for much. i had a lot of time to think which i always have told my patients is not a good idea. too much thinking is never good. i had minor freak out moments where i felt like i would never get better and days when i felt so good i wanted to put my running shoes on and take off. i talked to two different running friends that i have a lot of respect for and they both told me i need to be patient.

but you knooooooow im not patient


you'll get back and you'll be fine. but you must be patient. if you're not, that's how you'll injure yourself. just know the more patient you are now, the better it will be later.


ok. fine. 


so here i sit. trying to be patient, a week left to go in my recovery and feeling pretty good. i take my daily 3ish mile walk once or twice a day and then rest. i spend way too much time on twitter (im sure the twitterverse will be happy when i return to work) and watching tv. i read trashy books and think about what it will be like to get back to life again. im so thankful i have the unlimited texting plan (is 8,000 a month too much?) and have designed my next tattoo. i've also refocused myself. i know what i want and im so excited to go get it. like jumping out of my skin excited!

i know that im going to need to carry all this patience over into my training. before i got injured, 26.2 was going to be a challenge. running doesn't come easy or naturally to me. it's something i have to put a lot of work into. now that i have to start from scratch, its going to be even more of a challenge. im going to need patience, trust, and strength to get through it...all things ive needed and had to get through the last 5 months. i know ive got 'em....just need to put them to use!

things are looking up!

oh hi! it's me...the one who hasn't blessed this blog with her im so depressed posts love in a good month or so. breaking news folks: IM BACK!!! last time i updated you was a week post surgery, im now 4 1/2 weeks out. to be honest, it hasn't been all rainbows and unicorns...which is kinda why you haven't heard from me. i was sick of having nothing good today say, or pretending i had good things to say. i don't wanna get too excited but i think i am finally making some progress. there was some concern that i had reherniated my disc and had a follow up CT scan which showed "post op abnormalities". oy, thats a phrase i dislike. so they had to order an mri to confirm or deny a reherniation. i got the results of that today and to quote my doc "your mri looks fine, no disc issues at all".

for real!? im good to go!?


he says the pain im feeling in my leg could be some nerve damage or some scar tissue. to be honest, the pain isn't that bad compared to what i was feeling before my surgery. hell, i havent taken any pain meds since 3 days post op. that says something, especially when i was taking 8 vicodin a day just to get through the day before surgery. what i feel is a pinch right behind my right knee and its worse when im not active. doc said that getting in the pool is A OK and thinks that will be the best thing for me right now.


to say the last 4+ weeks has been an emotional roller coaster is an understatement. i can remember 2 days specifically that i just wanted to jump off the ledge. i was mentally done. the first day i sent my dear friend an email asking him all my "what if" questions. he wrote back, answered every last one of my "what if" questions and talked me off the ledge. then, i got two care packages that day from two amazing friends.

then a few weeks later when my leg was really getting wonky and worse this gem of a package showed up at my parents doorstep from my royal sister...

another thing that has kept me from freaking out is going through all this with someone. i remember getting back to my room from surgery and seeing a tweet from eric. he was going to have the same surgery as i just had a week later. we've been chatting since and it's been so nice to have someone to talk to about different pains or things that are going on in our recovery. i have had amazing support from all my friends and family but it's nice to talk to someone who understands and knows the exact things im talking about.

sooooo that's the injury update. just because my leg has been all wonky doesn't mean it has slowed me down any....

ive been watching hours of whale wars with zachie at night...

reading lots of trash magazines...

taking boat rides to islands off the coast of maine...

watching joanie kick butt at the ll bean 4th of july 10k...

enjoying parades with my little man...

eating lots of strawberry shortcake...

taking t on lots of walks...up lots of hills...

and of course watching lots of world cup soccer!!

i've also been swooning over all things tattoo and hope solo related...but that's all for a different day! :-)

ive got another week and a half or so of recovery left before i am cleared to go back to work. im finally feeling good. ive got some spunk back and im not letting it get away from me again!

the good, the bad and the ugly

so it's been a freakin week since my surgery! ya, the one i have been oh so patiently waiting for freaking out about for the last bunch of weeks. well folks, i lived! :-) this last week has been a roller coaster of emotions. but here ya have it. the good, the bad and the ugly.

***** WARNING! IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH, SKIP THE UGLY PART OF THIS POST*******

the good I HAVE NO MORE LEG PAIN!!!! im not living on pain meds every 3 hours! this is probably the most exciting news ever. going back to last wednesday though. i had to be at the hospital at 7:00 for my 8:30 surgery. when i checked in they told me my surgery had been moved up to 8:00 so they hurried through the admission process. i was a ok with that. one thing i am learning through all of this is that i am not in any way shape or form a patient person and so waiting around was not at the top of my list. it was pretty smooth sailing. routine questions that i had been asked a million and one times already so my answers were pretty automatic at this point. they also had to do a routine pregnancy test even though i prayed to God  told them i wasn't. while waiting for those results they asked the "are you depressed or suicidal" questions. i told them that my answer was contingent on the results of my pregnancy test. they laughed. thankfully, im not. win. 

i spent most of the morning being a smart ass with the nurses. shocker, i know. however, my surgeon got me back when his pale skinned, red headed self walked in to sign my back (always comforting when the surgeon has to autograph the correct side of my back to make sure he operates in the correct place). He lifted up my shirt and took one look at my nasty sunburn and told me i was more red then he was and he's not used to seeing such things. yeah, smart sarah spent 4 hours in the 93* sun over memorial day weekend. burnt to a crisp!. then, someone tells me they are giving me a nice little morning cocktail and the next thing i remember i was waking up in the recovery room, crying and them yelling my name. 

details are a little fuzzy at this point. i know they pumped in some morphine but i also remember at that time not feeling any leg pain at all. 

is this really over? has the last 4 months of pain finally come to an end?

so they wheeled me up to my room and i promptly asked for my phone. does this really  surprise anyone??? i needed to send out a quick email to my amazing friends who have been such huge supports to me. then i of course had to have my mom snap this gem of a picture so that i could let my twitter peeps know i was alive! 

it wasn't an hour later before i was up an walking around. since i had surgery at the same hospital that i work at (only slightly awkward) i had lots of visitors all day. however, this was the best visitor i had!

i settled in to bed and caught up on some reading. 

5 hours after surgery i took this picture. 

so the rest of the night was pretty uneventful. my husband and mom left, so i was left to entertain myself for a while. this was about the time i thought that being a pole dancer with my IV pole would be a fun career. 

the bad if i didn't think i was sleeping before surgery, im realllllly am not sleeping now. oy. i think the night i spent in the hospital i slept 3 hours or so. although i did have a sweet chat with my nurse at midnight about how we think the hospital is haunted with nuns. seriously, its true. i can't shower for another week (mind you, it's been a week already since my last shower). mmmmm sponge baths you are not fun. aren't you jealous that you don't get to hang out with me for the next week??? i can't work, drive, lift, bend, twist etc for 6 weeks making a very independent person completely dependent on everyone else. ill have a checkup at 6 weeks and as long as things are going well, i should be able to ease back into running at 8 weeks. withdrawing off of vicodin is not fun. not fun at all. i stopped taking it saturday after my surgery and was living in the land of the dead until tuesday morning. 

***** WARNING! IT'S TIME FOR THE UGLY*******

the ugly 18 fantastic staples later. i did say i wanted another tattoo! :-)

***** THE UGLY IS OVER :-)*******

so there you have it folks. the basics of what i hope is a changing point in my life. ive got so much more to say...but, ive got 6 weeks of doing nothing ahead of me, so ill save that for another post or 7. i just want to thank all my amazing friends and family who have been there with me every step of the way. picking up the pieces at home, being on the other end of phone calls when i was beyond frustrated and crying, and celebrating my recovery. THANK YOU! I honestly couldn't do it without you. 

peace out st.marys. you've been great!

129 days later.

I've thought alot about what I wanted to say in this post. you know, the "last blog before surgery" post. i thought it would be a lot of reflecting on the last 4 months and how much pain ive been in. how i've taken camp on the pity pot with several attempts to get off with no luck. i think ive done enough of that though.

it's been 129 days today since my initial injury in january. a simple thing i had done countless times finally got the best of me.

74 days since my last run (really? only 74? apparently 74 days feels like a lifetime!). clearly i tried to power through my injury and thought that it would go away. for awhile my back felt better when i ran and then just like that, one day i couldn't run anymore.

ive spent enough time feeling sorry for myself, being jealous of everyone else who could run, and crying. im over it and im tired of it and ive let it impact my life in more ways then i care for.

all this time away from life has given me a lot of time to think. everyone has said "maybe this happened for a reason". ugh really? not what i wanted to hear thank you. buuuuuut i think they were right. 3 weeks ago i got hungry. hungry to be a better runner. to be faster & stronger. i've had lots of time to read and i've figured out that my "ill run when i can find time and maybe do some x-training and core work if i feel like it" attitude is not going to help me reach my goals.

i'm blessed that running has not been taken away from me for good and im going to take full advantage of that when i return. many of you have told me you are thinking and praying for me. it means so much to me to know that there are so many people out there rooting for me. here's what i want you to do for me though. i want you to go out for a run today or tomorrow, naked. no watch, no tunes, no expected pace, no pre determined distance. just go out and run because you can! enjoy the world around you. celebrate the fact that today you can run! theeeen, tell me about how awesome it was!

with that, i am going to enjoy today. ill grab a few beers and some french fries at my favorite bar with one of my best friends and simply relax. thank you all who have been there for me. i think i am finally at the end of this long road.

and the verdict is...

just when i thought i had shed all the tears physically possible regarding my injury, my lack of running and my pain....i shed a few more yesterday. ok, i lied, a lot more. some of you know, many do not, but i had a meeting with a neurosurgeon yesterday to discuss my options for my herniated disc. whenever i mentioned back surgery to anyone, they freaked.

back surgery is risky

i've heard so many horror stories

you're too young for that

my friend had that, it didn't help

yeah, i heard it all. if you had asked me 4 months ago if i would consider back surgery, my answer would have been hell no!. but this is wearing on me. mentally and physically. big time. i can't begin to explain to you the kind of pain i am in so that you would understand. im not asking you to understand. what i want you to know is that i have tried everything. ok, maybe not everything but i've tried a lot of other alternative types of therapies. this is not a decision i made quickly. unfortunately, due to my insurance, i have paid for many of these alternative therapies out of pocket. well, my pockets are just about empty now. i literally cant afford to keep trying things and have them not work for me. so im having surgery. you may or may not agree with my choice but i had to do what was best for me and my family.

june 8. 3 weeks from today. it should last about an hour and ill spend a night in the hospital, being taken care of by the very people i work with. yea, that awesome insurance i have also requires me to get my care at the hospital i work at. sweet. it's a 6 week recovery and i should be able to run 8 weeks after surgery.

this throws my whole fall racing plan out the window and ill start from scratch. i won't be running my first marathon (insert tears) but i will make the best of it. im still going to be at MDI because i can't miss the epic weekend with an amazing group of people. shabby ally is going to run the relay with me and we are going to have fun! im still going to raise money for train 4 autism and springy pond farms. (click here to donate *wink wink*)

you hear that running Gods!? im going to have fun and im going to run again!!!

im also planning on getting some revenge at the chilly half marathon in newton which was my first half. i wasnt sure if i would be able to run this after running MDI but since im not running the full, i will absolutely be there. everything else is up in the air.

getting better is my first priority and ill put all my energy into a healthy recovery. red and i have been tossing emails back and forth about our injuries and how they have sidelined us from what we had hoped would be an epic 2011 racing season. we have decided that 2012 will be ours and in the meantime we will motivate each other to stay positive and focus on what is important.

God, grant me the serenity to accept when i cannot run

the courage to run when i can

and the wisdom to know the difference